A Love Unrequited

This is a love story. This is a tragedy. This is about a broken heart, and the creative furor that it can make. This is about the relationship between Michael Palin and John Cleese, the love that could never be.

Disclaimer (and where I lose most of the readers…); to the best of my knowledge, Cleese and Palin are irretrievably straight. When I speak of love and heartbreak, I speak in terms of the platonic, and not the erotic.

But, love it is. The love between a straight, emotionally repressed British sketch comedian and his straight, emotionally repressed British sketch comedian contemporary.

The “Meet Cute”

The spark first glimmered in John Cleese’s eye as he watched Palin and Jones in their TV show, “The Complete and Utter History of Britain”. A precursor to Monty Python, TCAUHOB put British history into a modern media context — wars as televised sporting events, etc. Admired by some, ignored by some more, TCAUHOB was an acquired taste. But Cleese found something to like in the show — or someone.

Cleese called Palin. As Britain’s premiere sketch comedy writer/performer, he had been floated an offer to do his own show. The idea did not appeal to Cleese, but he was interested in working with the right partner.

Cleese had worked with Palin before, making the “How to Irritate People” TV special. In fact, it was riffing with Palin about car mechanics that gave him the inspiration for the Dead Parrot sketch. Palin was funny, affable, quick on his feet, and had tremendous range as a performer. Cleese sensed a rapport. (“Parrot” spelled sideways.)

Cleese was already in a relationship with Graham Chapman, but Chapman’s alcoholism and terrible work ethic made Cleese feel underappreciated, taken for granted. Maybe in Palin, he could develop a new and more equitable working relationship. So he called Palin, after watching TCAUHOB and said “Well, you won’t be doing any more of those.” It’s as close as sketch comedians come to a declaration of love.

But Palin was also in a relationship, and unlike Cleese, he wasn’t looking around. Palin and Jones had worked together for years on “Do Not Adjust Your Set”, as well as TCAUHOB. The relationship with Jones was more of an open relationship. So when Cleese and Palin finally agreed to work together on a show, Palin brought along Jones, as well as Eric Idle and Terry Gilliam — the whole comedy orgy. Talk about awkward!

The Office Romance

Undaunted, Cleese tried swapping. You know, just to see if it was for him. He tried to write with Palin, as well as Idle. Though this cross-pollination created some true gems, most noticeably the “East Minehead By-Election sketch” with Cleese’s brilliant turn as Mr. Hilter, it was just a one night stand. Palin would return to his more familiar partnership, and Cleese would go home to bear the “Graham” burden, as he referred to it.

But as Cleese created comedy with Chapman, Palin was never far from his thoughts. He would often write roles for Palin, and the two became a famously reliable comedy team, at least on stage. The Dead Parrot sketch, the Cheese Shop sketch, the Pet Conversion sketch, all featured Cleese, a guy, standing in front of Palin, another guy, asking him for better customer service.

Even after Monty Python, when the lads had gone their separate ways, Cleese included Palin in his work. “A Fish Called Wanda” brings the two of them together in a beautifully Python-esque scene, as Cleese tries to gently extract time sensitive information from Palin, who stutters. Cleese calms him, soothes him, eases his wounds, and ultimately, cures him of his stutter. Later, at the film’s climax, it is Palin that comes to Cleese’s rescue, a knight on a gleaming steamroller.

But throughout all of this, Palin never demonstrated the same ardor. His films had no roles for Cleese. His sketches cast Cleese as a mad authoritarian, when they cast him at all. No Cleese in the Spanish Inquisition or the Lumberjack Song, no Cleese in Spam, very little Cleese in the Cycling Tour. It’s not Palin’s fault — he’s just not that into Cleese.

“We’ll Meet Again…”

Years later, and both Cleese and Palin are revered by geeks like me. They have achieved success and notoriety beyond their wildest dreams. Does Cleese still hold his torch for Palin? Has Palin begun to reciprocate a bit?

It is 2014, and the surving cast of Monty Python has donned thier Gumby attire to shoot a promotional video for the London 02 show. The five of them Gumby towards the camera, bellowing “Hello!” and “Sorry!” until their faces are right up against the lens. Cleese and Palin are in the front. As the other performers go quiet, the gag finished and thier job done, Cleese looks over to Palin, their faces inches apart. Cleese, safe in Gumby character, says “Kiss?”

Palin laughs, backs away embarrassed, dropping character. “Really, John…”